Photo Credit: Bryan Keane Cycling Ireland
On Sunday I won the Irish National Cyclocross Championships. It was a race I have been focused on winning since I first returned to race in Ireland in 2015. I came away with a silver medal and a deep respect for what it takes to become a winner. Last Saturday night I had three silver medals, a bronze medal and a 4th place under my belt. I would have said I was willing to trade in those three silvers for a gold on the spot. On Sunday at around 1:30pm I felt glad that I still had them and knew that without them I couldn’t have won the gold.
Photo Credit: Mark Kelly
Months and years of racing on heavy courses made hard women out of my competition, it showed me my weaknesses, taught me respect for those who were lining up each year. I was knocked into second place by Fran, Beth and Lara, three deserving champions, but it left me wondering would it ever be my time. I aimed to not feel entitled, not feel like I ‘deserved to win’, feeling like you deserve something makes you lazy, makes you think the win is inevitable, stops you from training as hard as you need to.
Photo Credit: Mark Kelly
This year was not going as planned in November. I had gotten thrown off my rhythm in July by getting a bad cold which lasted two weeks. Before that I felt solid and secure, afterwards I struggled to rebuild the fitness I had before. I came into September a bit weaker than in years past, and the season proved to be the wettest on record, I struggled in the thick mud, but the struggle was going to make me into a hard woman, what I needed to be to win at home in Ireland. My weaknesses made me smarter, careful with my efforts, not wasting a single pedal stroke when it wasn’t needed. I began to come around and win using my brain. It helped me to plan my races, to analysis my competition, to figure out how to win on any given day. I struggle in my homeland from not knowing my competition, for doubting myself against the unknown strength of the women I would be racing against. I would build them up in my mind into invincible riders, no matter how I trained the women in my mind were training harder. This year I tried to let that go. I asked myself what could I do to win against the course. What could I do with the things that I could control, and not to stress over the things I could not.
Photo Credit: Bryan Keane Cycling Ireland
The race itself was one of those blank mind days. A race when you have so much focus the constant chatter inside your brain is silent. Even when I was behind I heard nothing, when I lost out in a tussle with Roisin Lally, a first year junior with a sharp elbow, I did not react, I kept focusing on the full 42 minutes that lay ahead. I focused on moving forward, no matter what it would take, running half the course? Sure I would do that. When I got to the pavement on the last lap I let my mind out of it’s box, it came back with the volume all the way up, I did it, we actually flippin did it!!
Photo Credit: Sean Rowe
Photo Credit: Sean Rowe
Thank You
Thank you for your support and good will over the past 5 years. Thank you to my sponsors this year, Donkey Label, FKLaw, Allan Thom and PAWS Chicago, UPB Cycling Team, Abus Helmets, Colnago USA and Challenge Tires. Thank you to Ballina Cycling Club for providing an amazing venue and race experience. Thank you to Cycling Ireland, TG4 and Velotec for providing such a high quality livestream for everyone to watch the race on, this is how we grow our sport and make sure it’s accessible to all types of people. Thank you to the photographers for capturing the spirit of the day and allowing us to share these amazing stories. Thank you to my friends and family, both in the US and at home. Thank you to the women’s field at the Chicrosscup, you’ve push me to be a better and stronger racer every time we line up. Thank you to the Chicago Cycling Community for all the support and encouragement. Thank you to Alex Blom for making sure I am kind to my body when it needs it. Thank you to the Chicago Cuttin Crew for being my second family, keeping me sane, and keeping my ego in check. Thank you to Jen Sharp of Alp Cycles Coaching for guiding me through the good and the bad and giving me the tools to cope with both. Thank you to Annicka, Kelsey, Mary and Nora for being my constant friends and sounding boards. Thank you Daphne for getting me into this mess and being my partner through it all. Thank you Mam & Dad. Thank you Kyle.
Photo Credit: Martine Verfaille